With a recent tweet, Nathalie Gordon ignited a fierce debate about how men will never comprehend what it is like to be female. Although women probably knew what to expect regarding her tweet, men were somewhat blindsided.
Let me tell you a story about why men will never understand what it's like to be female.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
Gordon began her tweet by describing a seemingly harmless, casual experience with a man riding next to her on the bus. She stated that he tapped her knee and asked where the bus was going and where she was going.
He asks me where the bus is going. I tell him what the next station is. He asks me where I'm going.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
In that moment I instantly became worried. Again I am polite and say 'no thank you'. I go to put my earphones back in.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
She politely responded that she was heading to a meeting. Next, he asked her to go get a drink with him, to which she politely declined by saying, ‘no thank you’.
I look out the window but out the corner of my eye I see he is staring at me and has started to rub his crotch.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
I say 'remove him from the bus, call the police- I don't care'. The driver then says to me, 'you're a pretty girl, what do you expect?'
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
From that point, the conversation quickly took a scary turn as the man pulled her earbuds away from her as she attempted to go back to listening to music. The man then scolded her by saying “don’t be rude”. At that point, he started to “rub his crotch”. Alarmed and horrified, she demanded he stop doing it, only to be laughed at by him. Upon notifying the bus driver of the disturbing encounter, he simply suggested she “sit somewhere else”.
He basically shrugged it off and told her “what do you expect me to do”?
What I expect is to feel safe on the bus, the street, my house or anywhere I choose to go.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
What I expect is for good men to be on our side, to support us, to listen, to care, to stand up for us when we can't and to educate others.
— Nathalie Gordon (@awlilnatty) May 4, 2017
Nathalie responded by suggesting the perpetrator be removed from the bus or have the police called on him. In response to her suggestions, the driver offered another unhelpful response – “you are a pretty girl… what do you expect”?
Nathalie tweeted “You know what I expect? …respect for women” regardless of what they choose to wear or how they look and respect for women that do not wish to join you for a drink. She added that she also expects to feel safe at her home, on the street, on the bus, and anywhere else she chooses to go. Nathalie expressed her wishes to no longer have to be on guard everywhere she goes.
As her tweets quickly went viral, other women shared similar stories regarding creepy encounters with men on public transit. One woman even recounted a story where the bus driver refused to take “no” for an answer for a date.
Through a direct message on Twitter, Nathalie described the “hopeless” feelings expressed by these stories.
Then, the comments from men began pouring in regarding Gordon’s experience, many of them inadvertently proving her point even further. They simply do not understand.
Some of the responses for men were downright vile.
One man even went so far as to write a lengthy narrative of the bus driver’s experience, stating that the bus driver should not be held responsible for fighting her battles for her.
In response to the remarks from men, Gordon had a simple message, telling men to “just listen” and that “your input is not necessary here”. She also added that men should not add their opinions or find fault regarding the actual experiences of women.
Nathalie continued, “Just listen, read these stories and be a better, kinder, more informed, supportive and understanding man for the women in your lives.”
In spite of the haters and critics, Nathalie still felt encouraged after the discussion thanks to the 10 guys that rushed to her defense for every one guy that attacked her message.
Gordon stated that she knows “many good men” and this incident has confirmed that there are many others out there. She finished, “I just hope they are as vocal in real life as they are on Twitter because they have such power if they do.”