Saints in the Bible have had miraculous recoveries from prisons and other difficult situations. But for Dr. Ben Carson, the darling saint of the Republican Party, the Creator of the Universe personally intervened back during Carson’s first year at Yale University and sent Carson the answers to a critical chemistry test.
Now Doctor Ben Carson is one more loon who will compete for the 2016 GOP presidential nomination for president. Dr. Carson is never shy about relating how the Creator sent him lifeline answers for a critical quiz, and recently spoke again about the event during the National Day of Prayer.
Dr. Carson informed the prestigious members in attendance about how he, Carson, had been a lazy student, unwilling and not interested in studying. As a result, he rapidly found out that his grades were slipping. After barely clawing his way above water, Carson then called on the help of the Almighty in receiving vital crib notes for a chemistry quiz in the form of a Biblical-style dream.
After the omnipotent spirit that governs the entire universe’s last minute critical intervention, Carson was able to hang onto his position at Yale. He then went on to graduate, and now holds a slew of academic honors from prestigious institutions.
Sorry, but there’s only so many nuts I can handle in my trail mix. There’s no way a guy this loony tunes should ever get anywhere near the Oval Office. I know, because God told me that in a dream last night.